


The Couch

by Jude81



Series: Couch Adventures [2]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Humor, F/F, Family, Fluff and Angst, Humor, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-23
Updated: 2015-05-23
Packaged: 2018-03-31 22:18:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3995059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jude81/pseuds/Jude81
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is the sequel to "It Was All Octavia's Fault." You need to read it first in order to understand what is happening. </p><p>Lexa has been banished to something called a couch, but she doesn't know what a couch is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Culprits

**Author's Note:**

> Yup, here is the sequel. I'm not sure how funny this really is, somehow it turned a little angsty. So I threw some smut in to make up for the angst. :)

She sat their silently in her throne gazing upward, watching the first stars winking in the night sky. It was too early for anyone to really be asleep. She glanced behind her to the smaller room, glaring silently at the heavy leather that separated her sleeping area from the rest of her tent. Clark was in there. Not sleeping. No, she was punishing her. Her! The Heda of the Trikru and 12 clans. She was being punished by this couch thing that she didn’t fully understand. It wasn’t even her fault she had been banished to this object that she didn’t even possess. It wasn’t fair. It was all Octavia’s fault. Stupid Octavia!

She huffed and shuffled her feet, squirming in her throne, too agitated to relax. She quickly heaved herself out of her seat and strode across the room and starting rummaging through a trunk. She smiled triumphantly when she pulled out the jar of kohl. She swept her long fingers through it gathering enough to apply to her face. She closed her eyes and gently painted the kohl across her eye lids and down her cheeks. After so many years, she didn’t even need a mirror. Once done, she put the jar back and pulled out the rest of her armor including her ceremonial sword. It was time to look her fiercest. 

She finished tying the last pieces in place and adjusted the sword at her hip. She glanced back one more time at the small room, and then strode out of her tent without another glance. She quickly made her way to one of the smaller fires near the outer ring the communal cooking area.

“Linx!” She called for one of her younger guards who was on patrol. She tapped her foot impatiently waiting for him to appear. 

“Heda. How may I serve you?” She eyed the young guard noting that he still stood in front of her with his head slightly bowed. Good. He was respectful. She should be feared. Especially tonight. 

“Linx, go find Octavia. Bring her to me immediately. I don’t care where she is or what she is doing. Have someone replace her if she is on patrol. Now go!”

“Yes, Heda.” He gulped as he hurried off to do her bidding. He didn’t know what was happening, but his Heda was clearly agitated, and he didn’t want to do anything to re-direct her ire towards him. She was literally dressed to kill. This was worrisome. Somehow he had a feeling that Octavia was not going to like this meeting. He just hoped Heda didn’t kill Octavia. He kind of liked her, especially when she was pulling pranks on Lincoln. He smiled as he hurried through the tree line looking for Octavia. 

Lexa stalked quietly near the small fire, partially hidden in the shadows. She didn’t want to attract too much attention. They would worry that she was wearing her ceremonial armor with the panther claws threaded through the sleeves. Her arm guards had small spikes on the outside, perfect for hand to hand combat. She could inflict a great deal of damage with the spikes, and she had. The once gleaming silver was stained a violent rusty red. 

He finally found her at the southwest tree line patrolling with Nara. “Octavia, come. The Heda has requested your presence immediately.” He turned immediately to head back to his Heda, confident that Octavia would follow. 

Octavia gulped. This wasn’t good. She knew Lexa partly blamed her for Clarke being so upset. She hesitated worried about what Lexa would do when she felt a small shove to her lower back. 

“You’d better hurry, Octavia. Heda does not like to be kept waiting.” Nara shoved Octavia again toward the camp. 

Octavia took a step forward and then whirled back around grabbing Nara’s sleeve. She gulped hard, her anxious eyes wide and darting all around her. “Tell Lincoln I love him.” Then she took off towards camp at a run. Keeping Heda waiting would only make it worse. Nara just shook her head and returned to her patrol.

She quickly caught up with Linx, and she opened her mouth to ask him what was happening, but closed it when he shook his head at her. He clearly did not want to be involved. Smart warrior. She grumbled under her breath. 

They circled around camp and slipped in the back to the fire where Lexa waited. Linx bowed his head to Lexa. 

“Heda.” He murmured. He left quickly when Lexa flicked her hand in his direction, not even looking at him. He was so glad it wasn’t him in trouble. 

“Octavia.” Lexa just looked at Octavia, her face completely impassive, not giving away any of her thoughts or feelings. She simply waited with her hand wrapped around the hilt of her sword, her fingers lightly playing with the top. She bit back a smirk when she saw Octavia’s eyes widen as she couldn’t look away from the sword. 

“Heda. How may I serve you?” She tried to keep the shaking out of her voice. She really did. But Lexa was intimidating without armor, and with her armor that was partially stained in blood, with dripping war paint? Well that was enough to make her almost wet herself. She tried not to squirm or show her fear, but she was pretty sure Lexa could smell it. 

“Come.” Lexa quickly turned and made her way through the paths and around huts, listening for the stumbling footsteps behind her as Octavia tried to keep pace behind her. They reached a hut, and Lexa gestured for Octavia to knock while she glared at the door. 

Octavia knocked and once the door opened she announced the Heda. They stepped through the door into the small room. Lexa barely spared a glance at the table filled with food. They had obviously interrupted the occupants who were just starting to eat. 

“Raven. Abby.” She nodded at both of them and bit back a smirk as they both scrambled to their feet looking wide-eyed at the commander. She hoped they were scared of her. They should be. She had been banished to the couch, and someone was going to pay. 

She walked over to the table plucked a couple of berries out of a bowl, rolling them around in her hand. 

“So…” she said casually while still staring at them. “As you obviously know, Clarke is unhappy with me. I’m not sure what I have done to deserve this, but I have been banished to something called a couch.” 

She stopped and fixed the three of them with a cold glare, noting that Octavia was trying to fight back a laugh. Abby had a small smile playing about her lips, and Raven refused to meet her eyes, but her lips were twitching as she clenched her hands in front of her. 

After another pointed glare, she continued; “You know of this couch? Of how it is used?” She waited patiently for all three of them to nod. 

She continued, “I have been told that I must sleep on this couch. But as you know, I do not possess such a thing,” she hissed through gritted teeth as she crushed the berries in her fist. She grunted and looked disgustedly at the mushed, purple remnants of the berries. She flicked her hand out trying in vain to get rid of the stain on her hand. 

And then Octavia laughed.


	2. To Build or Not to Build

“Shop of!” snarled Lexa as she glared at Octavia, who quickly gulped back the rest of her laughter. Lexa strode up to her and casually wiped her hand down the front of Octavia’s shirt, smirking at the stain she left behind. 

She walked back to the table and then whirled around fixing them all with her cold stare. “So, you are going to find me a couch. Tonight.” She smirked as their mouths fell open. She crossed her arms over her chest and waited. 

“B-but we don’t have any couches, Lexa. I mean Heda. We had a couple on the Ark, but they are gone now,” protested Raven as she gestured around the small hut. 

Abby gently grabbed Raven’s arms and pushed them to her sides before she ended up hitting someone with her wide gesturing. She stepped up to Lexa and attempted to make her see reason with a soothing a voice. “Lexa, is this really necessary? I understand that you are upset, and rightfully so, but I don’t think a couch will fix this. Perhaps you should just talk to Clarke.” 

“Talk to her? TALK TO HER?!” hissed the commander as she glared at Abby. She gritted her teeth, her jaws aching as she fought back the desire to simply start yelling at the three troublemakers. It was all their doing that she had been kicked out of her own bed. 

“I TRIED talking to her, and I got kicked out of my own bed and furs. I’m supposed to sleep on a couch, but I do not have a couch, and since this is all your fault,” she gestured to the three of them, “you are going to build me a couch. Now.”

Octavia groaned. This was just getting worse. Clarke was being unreasonable and Heda was losing her damn mind. Why couldn’t Raven just keep it in her pants? And really, Abby should have known better. She was the mature one for crap’s sake! She should have locked the damn door, or at least not been leaving hickeys all over Raven in the mechanic’s work hut. 

“Ok. Ok. Everyone just remain calm. Raven, do you know how to build a couch?”

“Pretty sure I could figure it out, but why do I have to build the couch? This is because of you and your stupid high-fives. Clarke would have seen reason, but you went ahead and made it worse, Octavia! This is your fault!” yelled the mechanic as she stepped into Octavia’s space, ignoring the warning flashes in dark eyes. 

“My fault?! What the hell do you mean, my fault? I’m not the one banging Clarke’s mom! Sorry, no disrespect, Abby.”

Abby rolled her eyes. “Girls, stop. This isn’t solving anything!” Abby pushed her way between them, gently placing a hand on her lover’s stomach. “Raven, it will be fine. We can make a couch.”

Raven sighed and ran her hands through her hair as she limped across the room to grab her pack. “Fine. But we need to go to my mechanic’s hut.” 

“Good. We go now.” Lexa gestured for the three of them to precede her out the door. 

“Um, right. So, I should probably just leave you three to it and get back to my patrol. Yup, good luck with all of that.” Octavia inched her way to the door, ready to make a mad dash out and back to the tree line. 

“Octavia.” She froze when she her name. She hadn’t heard her name said so coldly in a very long time. Her stomach dropped. She was never going to high-five anyone ever again. As a matter of fact, maybe she should just cut her own stupid hand off. She turned back slowly and stood at attention in front of her Heda. 

“Octavia,” the girl tried not to shudder when she felt the silky voice run across her nerves like a finely honed steel blade. 

“Octavia, it would be very unwise for you to try to leave. Very unwise.”

“Yes, Heda. Of course, Heda.” She gulped nervously. Not only was she never going to high-five anyone again, she was never going to just barge into a hut again. Nope. Not her. From now on, she would knock. Yes, that was a good plan. Always knock first. And while she was at it, maybe she would shout a warning that she was coming in and everyone had better be clothed. On second thought, that might not be wise. She didn’t know how Indra would take that. Probably take it with a dagger at her throat. Yes, she would just knock. She nodded her head. She would knock loudly from now on. 

Lexa gestured towards the door again, and all three turned and walked out ahead of her. She smiled at their backs. Pleased that her plan was working so well. She would soon have a couch to sleep on, and Clarke would be happy that she had worked so hard to fulfill her wishes. Perhaps so happy that she would allow her back in her bed, and wouldn’t make her sleep on this couch thing. She sighed. She really needed a better explanation of what the couch was. Half-table, half-bench? It sounded uncomfortable. She sighed again and followed the three out and to the mechanic’s hut. 

Once they arrived, Raven lit some candles and pushed her jumbled wires and equipment off to the side clearing a work space on the table. She smirked slightly when she thought of what had almost happened here earlier with Abby. She glanced up and caught Lexa’s eyes, trying not to blush at the raised eyebrow. Nothing ever got by that girl. Lexa knew exactly what she was thinking about. 

“Ahem. Right, so a couch.” Raven pulled some paper and charcoal out of her bag and set it on the table. She started sketching as Abby and Octavia leaned over her shoulders offering bits of advice on what the couch should look like. 

Lexa sat down on an upturned box, momentarily content to let them do their work. Soon she would have a couch, and everything would be fixed. She ignored the bickering and after about an hour, the three finally fell silent. 

“Yup, I think we’ve got it.” The mechanic smiled as she set her charcoal down. 

Lexa stood quickly and strode over to the table, grabbing the paper out of Raven’s hand looking at the curious object. It looked like a bench only with a wider seat and a tall back. It appeared to have some type of padding. She handed the paper back to Raven.

“Good. Now build it.”

“Riiiiight,” drawled Octavia, “since Raven is actually the only one who can build anything, she should probably do it.”

“Oh no, Octavia,” smirked Abby, “we are going to need your help. You see we don’t have all the materials here. We are going to need two benches and wood for the back. We are also going to need cushions or pillows.”

“Not to mention some type of fabric to cover everything,” replied Raven. 

Octavia looked between the two smiling cohorts. Funny, she didn’t realize that Abby’s smile could be quite so malicious. She was a doctor for crap’s sake. Do no harm, and all that shit! 

“I see.” She sighed, resigned to the fact that she wasn’t going to be able to sit this one out. “Where exactly am I supposed to get all this stuff?” She gestured at the paper and then glanced around the hut, not seeing any benches or pillows. 

Raven and Abby glanced at each other and then looked at Lexa. Lexa just smirked and nodded her head. 

“Well, Octavia,” and Raven smiled again, baring her teeth a little. “As you just pointed out, I will be the one mostly building the couch with Abby’s help. That means you are going to have to go collect all these items.” Raven smiled again as she handed the list to Octavia. 

Octavia reluctantly took the list glancing down at it and sighed. This was just not her night. Fine. She would get all of the items on this list. 

She huffed and nodded at Raven and Abby, “Fine. I will get everything.” She turned and nodded at Lexa and then hurried out of the hut. 

“One hour, O! You’ve got one hour,” shouted Raven as she pretended to not notice the crude gesture Octavia made. She laughed quietly. Hopefully this would teach O to not barge in without knocking beforehand. 

“Come on, Abby, let’s clear some space.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wonder where Octavia will find all the supplies?


	3. So This is a...Couch?

An hour later, Octavia come stumbling through the hut, her face red and her arms full of pillows and fabric. She dropped everything in a heap and bent over placing her hands on her knees as she tried to catch her breath. 

Lexa cocked her head and glanced at the heaving girl. She could only imagine how she had managed to acquire the big pillows and fabric. Not many of her people had pillows, and certainly not these larger ones. But she did know one person who had them. She smirked. The girl would surely pay for it.

Abby gently patted Octavia on the back as she tried to catch her breath. Raven sat down and started rummaging through the pile. 

“Ok, these will work, O, but what about the benches and wood?”

“Fu-fuck you, Raven. Do you have any idea what I had to do to get that crap?” 

“Octavia…” warned Lexa. 

“Outside, they are out behind the hut. I got those ones first. The pillows and fabric were harder.” Octavia plopped down on the ground, too tired from her mad run through the woods. 

“Ok, come on, Abby, let’s go get the benches and wood.” The two left the still sitting Octavia and the commander who casually was playing with her dagger. 

“So tell me, Octavia. Just where did you get those pillows and fabric?” She smirked a little at the girl, her dark eyes glinting as she continued to play with the dagger. 

Octavia gazed at the commander, sitting so casually, so unworried, playing with her fucking dagger. She really wanted to tell her to go fuck herself, but knew if she did, she would find herself impaled on the pointy end of the dagger. So instead she just growled. 

“Well, Octavia, I’m waiting.”

The girl huffed irritably. The commander damn well knew where she had gotten the pillows and was just playing with her now. 

“I got them from a hut.” She muttered refusing to meet the commander’s eyes. 

“Whose hut?”

“Ugh. Indra’s hut! Ok! I stole them from Indra, and when Indra finally catches me, she’s going to kick my ass or slit my throat!”

Lexa chuckled. Her general might be tough as steel blade and just a strong, but she had a weakness for fluffy pillows that weren’t particularly common in her clan. Indra had traded pieces of armor and some of her knives for the geese that had given their lives for the pillows. No, indeed. Indra was not going to be pleased.

“Did she see you?” 

“Yes, why do you think I was running so fast? I barely got away with the pillows.”

Octavia looked a way, a blush stealing across her fare skin. Lexa raised an eyebrow, well this was interesting.

“Go on.” 

Octavia ground her heel into the dirt, not wanting to look at Lexa. She mumbled under her breath, “she wasn’t alone. There was somone with her, and they walked into the room and started you know…doing stuff.” Octavia groaned. Someone kill her now. She had seen her mentor’s bare ass, and she probably wouldn’t see the sun rise because of it.

Lexa barked out a laugh. Yes, indeed Indra was going to kill her second.

“It’s not funny,” muttered the sulking girl. 

Lexa quickly quieted. “Yes, it is. You are going to have to find a way to replace the pillows. I hope you have something to trade for the geese, and more importantly, I hope you know how to pluck feathers!” She chuckled at the dark look the girl shot her. 

“Ok we’ve got it all,” said the mechanic as she walked back in with Abby, their arms straining under the weight of the benches. 

“Good. Now start building this couch.” 

“Yes, Heda.” She snapped a salute towards Lexa and then started organizing the pile. 

Three hours, numerous swear words, and one smashed thumb later the couch was complete. 

Lexa stalked around the piece, eyeing it critically as Octavia nursed her smashed thumb. Raven was breathing heavily but gazing happily at the couch, inordinately pleased with herself, while Abby just yawned and slumped over the table, clearly having had enough. 

“So this…this contraption is a couch?” Lexa eyed it warily, unsure really what to make of the ugly piece. It looked rickety and lumpy. Yes, lumpy. The benches had been nailed together side by side with smaller pieces of scrap wood bracketing it underneath. A larger piece of wood had been nailed to the back and lined with pillows, just as had the seat of the couch. It had all then been wrapped in large pieces of fabric and nailed. It was ugly. Very ugly, and Lexa was unsure that it would hold her weight. It was truly a monstrosity.

“Well, it may not be pretty, but it is a couch, and it will do the job,” replied Raven, as she eyed the couch critically, noticing how the pillows sagged in the back of the couch. At least she hoped it would do the job. It wasn’t particularly big. Lexa was not going to be comfortable. But then she supposed that was the point. 

The mechanic yawned and flicked her eyes around the hut, noting that Abby had fallen asleep. She would have to figure out a way to get her over to the bed. She wasn’t sure that she could carry her with her leg. Octavia was sprawled in the dirt, gazing woefully at her injured thumb. She sighed. Octavia probably wasn’t entirely to blame for her smashed thumb. Raven might have misjudged the downward swing of the hammer when she was trying to nail the fabric in place. Of course it kind of served her right. 

Lexa huffed quietly. “Fine. Now pick it up and take it to my tent, and be careful. And quiet!” She ordered as she nudged Octavia with her foot, giving the girl a meaningful look.

Octavia looked up at Lexa sadly and held up her injured thumb, slightly wet from where she had been sucking on it trying to ease the pain. Surely, Lexa would have mercy on her?

“Now, Octavia.” Lexa nudged her a little harder with her boot and glared at the girl. 

Right, she should have known. This was Heda “Love is Weakness” Lexa, there would be no sympathy here. She couldn’t wait to get back to Lincoln. He would kiss it better. She sighed and heaved herself to her feet and grabbed one end of the couch. “Come on, Raven, let’s get this over with.” 

Raven hesitated looking at the couch. She was tired and unsure if her leg would hold. Lexa glanced at her noticing her hesitation and why. She walked over to Abby and shook her awake, ignoring Raven’s glower. 

“Abby, wake up. You need to move the couch.” 

Abby grumbled and slowly opened her eyes, looking blearily at the scowling commander. Great. She still wasn’t happy. She sighed and slid off the stool, making her way to the other end of the couch. She patted her lover on the back as she passed by and whispered, “I’ve got this.” 

Raven sighed in relief when Abby grabbed the other end, and quickly opened the door as Abby and Octavia shuffled outside with the couch between them. Lexa followed them slowly, still unsure how this would work. 

They made their way quietly to Lexa’s tent. It was mostly quiet throughout the camp. It was only a few hours before sunrise, and none of them were going to be getting much sleep tonight. 

Lexa held the tent flaps for them and ushered them inside, quietly commanding them to set the couch up outside the smaller room facing it. She might not be allowed in the smaller room with Clarke, but damned if she wasn’t going to be as close as possible. 

She waved the three of them out of her tent with a warning glance, and they hurried off to their own huts. 

She sighed as she walked over to her trunk taking off her armor and sword, carefully laying them inside. She poured some water in a basin and quickly cleaned her face of the war paint. She stripped off the rest of her clothing and grabbed a pair of soft shorts and a well-worn tank top, slipping them on. She shuffled over to the couch and glared balefully at it. 

So this was a couch. It did not look comfortable. She gingerly sat down and leaned back, wriggling and trying to get more comfortable. It was lumpy and the fabric wasn’t tight against the pillows and wood. She sighed and laid down, curling up and facing the smaller room. 

Gaia, she hated this contraption. No wonder they no longer existed. It was probably the first item to go once the bombs had stopped falling. Perhaps this was why the bombs had fallen to begin with? Perhaps all the lovers and spouses who had been ordered to sleep on these couches had finally revolted against their oppressors. Yes, that sounded about right. She was sure of it now. These ugly, hard contraptions were what had caused the bombs to drop. 

She growled and kicked her feet. She hated this thing! This couch! She was cold and lonely. She felt the tears burn at the back of her throat. She just wanted to be with Clarke, her Klark. But she wouldn’t cry. Heda didn’t cry, and certainly not over something so silly. Still she sniffled and wrapped her arms around herself trying to pretend it was Klark holding her. She tucked her chin into her chest and ignored the tightness in her chest. 

It would be better in the morning. Klark would see how hard she had tried. Klark would be pleased with her, and then Lexa would burn this stupid couch. 

FIN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there is an epilogue. Yes, it has some smut to make up for this sequel.


	4. Where You Belong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue! Some smut!

Clarke groaned quietly as she rolled over in bed gazing at the empty side of the bed. She sighed quietly. She hadn’t slept well. She had missed Lexa, and really she had probably been too hard on her. She wondered where she was, and where she had slept last night. She had actually been surprised that Lexa hadn’t tried to climb into bed with her. Then again, Lexa could be proud and stubborn, not a good mix. 

She slowly clambered out of bed walking over to the basin and filled it with water from the pitcher. She quickly washed and threw on some clothes, anxious to find her companion. 

She flung the flaps back and stepped into the big room only to crash right into some large piece of furniture. She flung out her arms and let out a cry as she smashed into a warm body. She immediately felt the body stiffen and then grab her slamming her to the ground, straddling her and then pinning her in place. She glanced up into cold, green eyes and gulped. 

“Good Morning, Leska.” She murmured smiling when the coldness bled out of the green eyes to be placed by gentle warmth. 

Lexa shifted her legs and ground her pelvis lightly into the girl’s crotch. She still had her arms pinned over her head, and she leered at the blonde trapped beneath her. 

“Good Morning, Klark kom Skaikru.” 

“So um…Leska, do you think you could maybe let me up?”

Lexa lifted her chin, gazing thoughtfully around her, “Hmmmmmm…” She glanced back down at the blonde noting the blush in her cheeks and her pulse fluttering wildly in her neck. 

“No, Klark. No, I don’t think so.” Lexa shifted her weight again, grinding down again, pleased as she saw the blush in her companion’s cheeks deepen. 

“Come on, Leska, let me up. I’m hungry.” 

“No, Klark. I like you right where you are.” Leska leaned down and flicked her tongue out, catching the underside of the blonde’s chin. “Underneath me. Right where you belong.” She licked up the side of the girl’s cheek, please when she jerked her head trying to avoid the spit she deliberately left behind. Clarke needed to be taught a lesson. 

Lexa had had a long few hours to think while trying to sleep on the couch, and she had decided that Klark needed to be taught a lesson, that no one kicked Heda out of bed! Her sadness had eventually faded into mischievous anger, and she was anxious for the sun and Klark to both rise. And now the sun was up, and so was Klark. Well she had been up, now she was simply on the ground, right where Leska wanted her. 

Lexa gazed down at sparking blue eyes. She didn’t smile this time, and she smirked inwardly as she saw the smile slowly fade from her companion’s face, only to be replaced by a slightly worried look. Good. She wanted her to feel a little anxious. Lexa was still just angry enough that she wanted a little revenge, and wanted to Klark to worry for a few minutes. She bared her teeth at the girl, when the blonde tried to unsuccessfully throw her off by bucking her hips. 

“Stop, Klark,” she hissed. “Do you know what this is?” She jerked her head towards the offensive couch. 

Clarke craned her neck to see what Lexa was looking at and her mouth fell open slightly in surprise. It looked like…like… a couch that had been mauled at some point. It was ugly and lumpy, and…oh god. Where the hell did Lexa get it?

“Um, it looks like a couch?” She asked meekly as she glanced up at the brunette, who still wasn’t smiling. Well this wasn’t good. She thought maybe it was time to try another approach. 

The blonde relaxed her arms and stopped wiggling and smiled up at her companion, “Leska,” she husked softly. “I’m not really sure where you go this couch, but why don’t you let me up, and you can tell me all about it, and I will make it up to you.” She pleaded softly, hoping that Lexa would let her up. The dirt floor was not very comfortable and it was cold.

Lexa smiled this time, all teeth. And then she laughed as she tightened her hold on the blonde’s wrists. “Oh, yes, I am going to tell you all about it. You see, Klark. This is a couch. At least Raven promised me it was a couch. Although I’m not sure it is a very good couch. But, I see now why people didn’t like couches, and why they especially hated sleeping on them.”

Lexa leaned down until she was nose to nose with the blonde. “You see, Klark. They are ugly and lumpy. They are small and uncomfortable. You can’t actually sleep on them, but then I guess that is the point. These are horrible contraptions!” She quickly let go of Clarke’s right wrist and lashed out with her left fist, shoving the couch away from her as hard as she could. She grabbed Clarke’s wrist again gently slamming it to the ground and pinning her in place again. 

“I’m not done, Klark. This…this thing should be burned! It is horrible, and you making me sleep on it was cruel,” she hissed. “I am NEVER sleeping on this again. Do you understand?” 

She smiled when the blonde quickly nodded. 

“Good.” She brushed her nose lightly against the blonde’s. “I was very lonely and cold out here,” she whispered. “You were mean to me, and I didn’t deserve it. You kicked me out of my own bed, and you shouldn’t have.” She leaned down and ghosted her lips across the blonde’s gently flicking her tongue across the girl’s lips. 

She pulled back slightly when she felt the blonde try to press into her, to kiss her. 

“No, Klark. I’m not done yet.” She leaned down again and pressed gentle kisses to the warm neck, sliding her tongue across her pulse point. She smiled into the soft skin when she felt the blonde jerk her head and push her hips up into her. She kissed along the underside of the blonde’s jaw, nipping occasionally and then soothing the pinched flesh with her tongue. 

She pressed her hips down into the blonde and rocked gently against her. It provided no real friction for either of them, but that wasn’t the point. The point was the promise, the promise of what she could, would do. She smiled as she felt the first warm tendrils pool in her abdomen, and she bared her teeth at the thought of what she could and would do to Klark. 

“You were mean, Klark,” she whispered as she pulled back and gazed at the slightly wet blue eyes. “Do not ever kick me out of bed again,” she warned. She waited for the blonde to respond, noting the look of defiance that was slowly swishing across her face. 

“Well, Leska, you shouldn’t have said what you…” The brunette cut off the blonde’s reply by kissing her hard, swallowing the last of her words. She pushed her hips down into the blonde’s crotch again, wishing for better friction. She swiped her tongue across Klark’s lips again, silently demanding entrance. She sighed into her warm mouth when it was granted, and her eyes fluttered shut. 

She slid her tongue along the blonde’s, pleased when they tangled. She smiled at the muffled groan from beneath her, but ignored the hips that kept pressing upwards into her. She pulled back and smiled at the blonde’s slightly bruised lips. It was a good look on her. 

“Leska…”

“No, Klark.” She kissed her harder again, “No one kicks Heda out of bed, not even you.”

The blonde glared at her and then turned her face away, refusing to look at Lexa. She gazed at the couch. It really was ugly and looked horribly uncomfortable. She sighed. She really shouldn’t have kicked Leska out of bed. It wasn’t even Leska that she had really been irritated with. She gazed at the couch again, trying to stifle a laugh. Did she even want to know how she had managed to get a couch?

“Where did you get the couch?”

Lexa snorted. “Promise me, and I will tell you.” 

“Fine.” The blonde rolled her eyes. “Now tell me.”

Lexa smirked at her Skai Prisa. “I will tell you, but first you owe me, and I intend to collect.”

And collect Lexa did, her own pound of flesh from Klark’s willing body. Only the couch bore witness. 

The End. For Real

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah. A little smut. That's all folks. Thoughts?

**Author's Note:**

> Oy vey. Will Octavia ever learn? Thoughts?


End file.
